Finding My Weird.

So, I feel like I am constantly using that Dr. Seuss quote (which, if you look up online is debated to be by either the great Doctor or by Robert Fulghum... but I like Seuss better so I'm going with that) to sum up my quest to find a match in my life to grow old with. I'm looking for someone whose brand of weird is compatible with mine.

I'm not perfect. Who is? And after all of my entirely unhealthy and strange relationship circumstances, I certainly don't expect anyone else to be perfect either. Everyone has flaws and/or quirks — and that the very nature of those flaws and quirks are what makes them wonderful. I am neurotic. I over-think things. I am a self-labeled chronic apologizer. I apologize for things even when they are not my fault, when they have nothing to do with me at all and even when they are circumstances with which no earthly person can control — these points are moot — I still apologize. I am not really saying "sorry" because of the things though. That's the part that escapes most people. I am apologizing for how whatever happened to them made them feel. I am sorry that they are feeling upset/bad/hurt. My frequent apologies are the same kind of apologies you say when someone dies. You feel bad for the person left behind and you offer your condolences. Perhaps I should start calling myself a chronic-condolencer? In addition to this, I can find countless other things which others would consider strange habits. I check my doors to make sure they are locked at least 3 separate times a night before bed. I like the volume of my car stereo to be on even numbers only. I have my own brand of weird — this much I know. Everyone does. Now I just need to find someone whose weird is compatible with my own.

I need someone who will not laugh (too hard) when I break into impromptu songs about the mundane details of my life. I need someone who makes me comfortable enough to even do that in the first place. I need someone who will let me talk to them about the silly things that my kids at school do (I'm a teacher). Someone who will hold my hand and watch crappy TV and movies with me. Someone who will come see my band play and tell me we were great even if we suck. Someone who likes that I am 27 and still like glitter and sparkles and dying pieces of my hair crazy colors. Someone who likes my dogs and can deal with the fact that they shed everywhere and that we will have a constant need for lint rollers. I need someone who will indulge me in my "does this make me look fat" questions and who tries crazy new diet foods with me when I am feeling the urge to do so. Someone who will call me out on my terrible ideas and support me when I go through with them anyway. Someone who will let me tell them my many ideas about "what I want to be when I grow up" and help me find a way to make them happen.

I need someone who will support me. Support me and love me and need me and all my weird. And in return, I will try my very hardest to be who they need me to be and to support them in the way they need to be supported. I think that's all anyone can really hope for. Love and supported mutual weirdness.