My Own Religion

Today is "Good Friday" for Christians around the globe. The day we commemorate Jesus' crucifixion. It's two days before Easter when we will celebrate Him being reborn and, for the believers,  to take away all our sins. Jesus died so that we can be forgiven; at least that's what The Bible says. These are the basics of the next few days and the things that I celebrate every Sunday in church. I have to be honest here and say that, while I go every week, I don't really go for the "church" part of church. I go because I play in the church band — we play contemporary Christian music — and to be honest, I get a whole lot more out of the music than I do the sermon or the staunchy (I'm making that an adjective now) church-goers I see around the building.

The truth is, I'm not really sure what I believe in. I believe in a higher power. I believe in God or the possibility of many god's that is likely, for my simplified purposes, personified into one single god with many facets. I believe in karma and that good things happen to those who do good. I also believe that sometimes, bad things happen despite our best efforts because we have something to learn from the experience. I believe things happen for a reason but that we also have the free will to control the puzzle pieces around us and to alter the path that we walk each day. I do not believe that there is one right way to live or one set of rules everyone must follow to be a "good person." I think there general set of guidelines (this being pretty close to the Ten Commandments) that people should live by but that some rules are meant to be broken — there are always extenuating and unforeseen circumstances. I believe that it is not my right to judge others for the way they live or to condemn them for the things they choose to do.

I believe The Bible and all other religious books are written by man, and therefore, flawed. (I actually had my Contemporary Religions teacher, a Catholic nun, tell me this once in a lecture.) I think there are pieces that are surely true — they are all way too similar to be completely falsified. However, they are word-of-mouth stories passed on to someone who could write and read and then translated over and over again into new languages. This is bound to cause things to be lost in translation. Ever played a game of telephone? I tend to picture that when I think of The Bible. What did the first guy say to the second guy and what did the tenth guy say to the scribe? And how did that version get translated into 50 languages and still come out exactly the same? It simply did not. It's impossible.

Religion is a tough subject because I would like to make it simple and have myself neatly fit into a single category of religion. When someone asks about my religion I usually explain that I am a Christian but truthfully, I am not sure I really am. This answer just seems easy and like the path of least resistance. It will not require any further explanation — I grew up this way and is the most accepted answer. In my heart, I tend to lean more towards the "faithful but not religious" answer but that seems wrong too since I go to church weekly. It's a tough thing to explain quickly, and that means, I just tend to not explain at all. I claim myself as a Christian but I am not actually sure I believe in Christ as the Christians say. Problematic. I believe Christ was real — that he was this amazingly charismatic guy who did wonderful things and helped a lot of people. He was good in every sense of the word. What I do not think I buy is the immaculate conception  or the being born again pieces. Those are all a little too much for me — I think they are what people needed to believe. They are the magical parts of the story that some needed to believe in the bigger picture. I don't need those parts in order to think that a guy named Jesus could accomplish amazing thing and help others to work through their problems and overcome terrible things. I don't think Jesus was a magical guy who could turn water into wine in a literal sense — I think he was a problem-solver and a teacher and someone who brought tremendous goodwill and good fortune with him where ever he went. He was able to influence those around him to be better and do better. So, because I feel this way, does that make me more Jewish than Christian? Now let's add that I believe in karma, that things happen for a reason, and that what goes around comes around. That's Buddhism, right? So, where does that leave me?

Honestly, I have come to the realization that choosing a religion is not a one-size-fits-all thing. I do not fit neatly into any of the categories and after many years of thoughts and prayer about this, I don't think I need to. God doesn't care if I pick a religion. At least I don't believe He does. I don't believe I have to claim Christ any other personified God as my savior in order to believe and accept the ways of morality and a higher power into my life. I believe. I am faithful. I do good. I try my best every day to be a better person that I was the day before. I do not judge others simply because they do things differently than I do. I believe that all life, even things that seem insignificant to many like bugs and insects, are valuable, important, and worthy of respect. I believe that it is my duty to help others through whatever means I am able and that I must try to live the way a higher power would like me to life.

It seems to me that most major religions have the same basic fundamentals — it's the power in charge and the specifics that differ. And those are the things I am foggy on. Maybe there is a Heaven and maybe there is a Hell. I would like to think there is something beyond this life but truly, I am not so sure. reincarnation is an interesting concept but again, I have no idea where I really stand on it. And I don't think I need to be sure of anything but who I am and the fact that I will raise my future children as faithful in a higher power as well. I will educate them on religion the was I was and allow them to make their own choices. I believe questioning is good and natural and right. And hope I never lose that and that I can teach my children the same one day.

I will go to church on Sunday because I like to play music. I will have statues of Buddha in my home because I find it calming and peaceful. I will mediate and chant and I will pray to God and not really know who it is that I am talking to and not feel the need to specify because in my mind, it doesn't really matter. I think that faith is more important than any label I can slap on myself and what I believe.