Yesterday I wrote about my great date with “the man I’m going to marry.” However, since I am hoping to actually date this guy, I should start referring to him as something that seems a wee bit less batshit crazy. After all, I am not really delirious enough to believe I can predict who I will or will not marry. At least not out loud or in the vast arenas of the internet…So, from here on out, I’ll be referring to him as “The Brit.”
As I said last night (if you didn’t catch the post, you can check it out HERE) I haven’t heard from him much except for some niceties since Sunday morning. And I posted about how my wise married guy friend tweeted me that I should expect a lull before the “let’s go out again” conversation will happen. He suggested it could be anywhere from 2 days to a week. A WEEK?
My immediate strong-independent-woman reaction is to launch right into my memorized line of “if he’s not calling or texting you, he’s just not that into you. (and not worth my time)” (Thank you very much Liz Tucillo and Greg Behrendt for “He’s just not that into you” and all its gritty, hard-to-hear glory and difficult but oh-so-true rules.) But then when I replied with my shock and disappointment, my wise married guy friend tweeted back, “If he called you the day after your “women are crazy and lose interest in what they can easily attain” switch would trip.” BOOM.While I wanted to argue, who can argue with that kind of logic?
As much as I want to tell him he’s wrong and that’s not at all true, I fear it might be. Are we as women crazy and do we lose interest in the easily attainable? Yes, yes, I think we are and I think we do. And that sucks because it means I am stuck waiting and wondering if and when he will ever call to make another date. And I’m just not a very patient girl.
So, today is Tuesday. The date was Saturday night. I am hoping for some communication tonight and the initiation of another date. Not because I have any strong feelings or emotions attached at this point but because I need the validation that the date was in fact good and that I am capable of being a second-date-girl. Usually, it seems the only men who pursue me are the ones I wish would disappear. Not guys like The Brit. Smart guys who are funny and independent thinkers and who know how to dress themselves and who say things like “brilliant.” Those are the guys I want to go on second-dates with. If The Brit calls tonight, I feel soundly that he will not trigger my crazy switch. But when is it too soon and how long of a wait is too long? It’s such a fine line and it makes me feel uneasy just thinking about it.
Thoughts, friends? How long should a guy wait before making a second date? What’s the perfect time? And when do I decide he’s just not calling and he’s just not that into me?
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