The Happiness Project

Over the last month or so I have had two different friends whom do not know each other and are in entirely different circles of my life tell me about how they are reading (and loving) The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. Naturally, I just downloaded the book for my kindle (I must admit that I love the instant gratification of the immediate downloads for the kindle but completely miss the book smell and feel of a great paper or hardback copy...) and am really excited to get started with the book. Based on what I have have heard from my friends, it's going to be a life altering experience. Both of my friends say it has inspired them to make some very small but positively impactful changes in their lives. The book has encouraged them to look at things with new eyes and from a new perspective. I can't wait to see what positive changes it will bring for me.



I'm excited to read this book because while I write about gratitude and feel an overall appreciation for how lucky I truly am, I do struggle with whether I really where I am supposed to be in my life. I have a degree in mass communication with emphasis's in journalism and public relations. Since the age of 11, I had every intention of growing up to write for magazines. I grew up reading Girls' Life and spent my days dreaming of writing for them one day. In college, I was able to realize that dream. I was lucky enough to go to school very close by to their offices and worked as an intern and then as an editorial assistant. Quite literally, it was my dream job. I fell in love but I was also still in school. I needed to make sure I had my priorities straight as I was on track to complete my bachelor's in 3 years instead of 4. I was a hustler to say the least.

My last semester of school stress was really closing in. My boyfriend of 5 years had just broken up with me and it felt like the world was crashing in around me. I was in my dream job but suddenly the world felt bleak. I was also taking the hardest class of my undergrad career, Mass Com Law. With all of these things closing in — working full time at GL, breaking up with the guy I'd been dating since I was 15 and writing 4-5 law briefs a week with a 18 credit hour semester  — I decided to walk away from Girls' Life in the name of graduating successfully and keeping my grades up. I left on very good terms and naively thought there would be a place for me when I was done with school. What I didn't think about what the fact that it was a small 8 person company and how they would have to fill my position immediately. I should have. I have no idea why I didn't think about this but those are the facts and I am not a person who has regrets. Everything happens for a reason. I went on to work at a different magazine company briefly before realizing they were having fake contests and lying to teenagers. Super bad karma there. This left me in-between jobs and I moved home for a bit with my parents. After all, I was only 21.

Once I was home, I decided to start substitute teaching to pay my bills while I was looking for my next journalism job. I ended up at a school I like a lot and subbed there often. A month or so after I started subbing, they asked me to fill a long-term position for kindergarten there for the rest of the year. The day I accepted that position, I got a call to interview for a job in writing. I was so torn. I really wanted to go to the interview but I had just accepted a position to work with these little kindergarteners who had already had 2 teachers that year and it was only October. I talked at length with my mom about what I should do. Her thoughts were very matter of fact. "If you just took this job today and are already torn about leaving the kids, than you are already where you are supposed to be." It made perfect sense to me. And I really did want to do right by the kids. So, I stayed with the teaching job and turned down the interview.

From there, I went back to school while working at my long-term sub job and got certified to be a teacher. By the end of that year, I was nearly done the classes I needed and only had a few left. The next school year, I needed to do either student teaching or find a teacher of record position at a private school. I was hired at a private school and had a class of my own and was in a full time teaching position. I finished my degree completely by the end of that school year and moved back to public schools the following year. This year is five years for me since I turned down that interview and took a job in teaching. I do not regret my choices — this path has brought me a lot of great things. And while I still love working with children and feel I am pretty good at it, I am just not sure being a teacher is my purpose in this life. Is there another capacity of working with kids that I should be in? Perhaps one that does not make me want to bang my head against a wall quite so much? And one that doesn't make me feel like it's sucking the life out of me? I fear that these feelings are not my actual job at all but rather the sad state of education right now... So, what do I do about that?

While I am quite certain that The Happiness Project won't offer any quick or magical fixes, it might help me find a way to being some balance and new perspectives to this issue. Here's hoping. (And if you should happen to be reading it too or have read it in the past, please feel free to chime in!)

 

~B